I looked at a photo of Chad today and I really missed him. But that was .... it. I was sad, yes. But just like, wistful sad, like, gosh, I miss him. And then I just sorta moved on in my head. A few seconds later, my brain afterburners kicked in and said
WHAT DID YOU JUST NOT THINK???? WHY AREN'T YOU, LIKE, YOU KNOW, DOING WHAT YOU ALWAYS DO, YOU KNOW, BEING SUPER WIDOW SAD AND SHIT?
I started to feel super weird about not feeling being super widow sad and shit, then I realized, I think this means I am making progress. As in, this is what is supposed to happen. I can't stay wracked with grief for the rest of my damn life can I? No. So SOMEDAY has to be the first day that I look at a photo of him and wistfully shake my head and think "wow, I miss you" then just move along in my head without obsessing for an hour and a half.
I guess that day was today.